What doesn't kill you...?

***Disclaimer: This post will address female circumcision and may not be appropriate for younger readers***

One of my best friends in my neighborhood is a young girl. She is about 6 years old. You are probably asking yourself what I am doing with a 6 year old as my best friend, but when you can barely speak susu, you get along better with people who play hand games and with your kitten then with people your age who just want to sit and talk. A few days ago she came over and to make conversation, I told her he hair looked pretty. It was braided with thread. My host sister told me it was because tomorrow she was going to the forest to get cut. She motioned to the area between her legs and said cut.

Female circumcision or as we call it in the US, female genital mutilation, is a huge problem in Guinea. During training we were told that 98% (or some similarly ridiculous figure) of Guinean girls are circumcised. It’s among the highest rates in the world. The only purpose it serves is cultural. It’s not like with men where it can help prevent infection. In girls, it helps to cause infections. The blades are not properly sanitized. They are shared between all the girls who are getting it done together. Girls can get AIDS. Girls can get other infections. The surgery is not done in a hospital setting. It is incredibly painful. It takes all the pleasure out of sexual intercourse for a woman. That is actually why it is done. If women do not enjoy sex, they will not stray from their husbands. Later in life it can cause childbirth complications, including fistulas, which cause women to leak urine at all times, leaving them completely ostracized from their communities. Anyway, that sidebar probably shows you how I feel about the subject.

So when my sister told me what was about to happen, I think she could read on my face that I found it upsetting. She then started laughing and saying that it was not true. She was lying. I was shocked that she would joke about such a thing, but many things shock me here so I thought no more of it

The next day, when I got home from work, I heard singing coming from the girls house. I asked my sister what was going on, knowing I was about to get an answer I wouldn’t like. She told me that yesterday she was not lying. Famtimou was having her circumcision ceremony. She told me to go over to the house to sing with them. Here lies my moral dilemma. I do not want to show support for this practice. By going over to the house, I am showing that I am ok with what they did. At the same time, I do want to show my support for the girl. If I don't go, then she will think “her fote” (as she calls me) forgot her or doesn’t care about her. I can’t explain how I feel to these women because I am not sure if my French can capture the nuances of what I am trying to say and I know my Susu cannot. Most of them don’t speak French anyway. I do not think that I can do anything to prevent this from happening to every other young girl in my neighborhood, so by taking a stance, I will not be changing anything. I may even hurt the level of community integration I have worked so hard for. At the same time, can I stand by and do nothing? I talked to another volunteer who suggested that I bring up my concerns with my host dad as he is kind and educated, but even that worries me. It is not something men talk about. The healing process takes a long time, so I still have some time to make my decision. Ever since training, I knew this day would come. I just did not think I would be confronted with this decision for the first time with a girl I actually care a lot about. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and growing up is all about setting your moral compass so I am trying to think of this as an opportunity to grow as a person and a potential way to start dialogue about a decisive topic. On verra.